Only time will tell, if we’re willing to wait. That’s the question now, isn’t it? Are we willing to wait for better, to wait for gratification, to wait in order to build character and self-discipline? Research shows we are at an all-time low when it comes to our ability to wait. A study at UMass Amherst examined over six million people who frequently browse the internet. What these studies showed was the average time people were willing to wait for information on various sites was a staggering two seconds. If web designers couldn’t capture viewers’ attention within the first two seconds, they lost the opportunity.
Time spent in the traditional classroom or at church has now been exchanged for online education and taped sermons listened to when you’re stuck in traffic. Is that really maximizing time or have we lost ourselves in a runaway society? Even something as simple as thinking, meditating, and researching have been reduced to a fleeting thought, a three-minute meditation, and searching the internet for instant information.
Decisions, actions, and values are weighed against the time it takes to achieve success. It’s not far off the mark to say that time is our most precious commodity.
The best thing about time is that it plays no favorites, it is the great equalizer. No matter how instantly we want to have things, and no matter how instantly we expect things to happen, we are all slaves to the same clock. We all have only 24 hours in a day to spend. And, when it is your time to go, you won’t be able to exchange or buy more time—you’ll be gone in an instant. Death will also be instant, but that’s one instant most of us would prefer to postpone.
Our expectations of immediacy are exhausting and have taken their toll on all of us. We may be more efficient but at what cost? How perverse that most of us continue to create an even faster rat race while, at the same time, we nostalgically crave yesterday’s slower lifestyle and calmer existence Perhaps taking a few moments to examine and analyze the cause and results of our need for everything instant will help us to stop and smell the roses. So, take a few moments here to do just that. If you can’t stop, make yourself slow down for a brief time to discover the benefits of waiting, of being patient, of learning perseverance and determination because you were willing to wait.
How can you accept your gay son?
If you have just found out that your son is gay, or if you think he might be, you might find it overwhelming and have lots of questions and confusion. You might wonder what made him this way, or wonder what it means for his life. You could be feeling afraid, heartbroken or disappointed. Maybe you’re hoping that this is just a phase that he will grow out of. You might even feel like you don’t know who he is anymore and wonder if there is any way to truly accept him.
Our parents have been there too
We struggled immensely with coming out to our parents, and they struggled to understand and accept us. That is why we decided to write this book.
We both had deeply religious backgrounds and in our families being gay was never even talked about. When we realized that we were gay, we started out hating ourselves and trying everything to change. When we told our parents, they were angry and confused. They couldn’t reconcile what they believed in about gay people with the fact that their own sons were gay.
This book can help you to understand what being gay means
In the book, we offer all of the information that you need about what being gay means. We give you clear, direct, and no-nonsense answers to the questions you might still have, such as:
– Is homosexuality a choice
– Is there a way to change him?
– Whose fault is it that my son is gay?
– How does it relate to my religious views?
– What does this mean for my son’s future?
Learn what to say to your son
It might be very difficult to know what the right thing is to say to your son when you find out he is gay. We offer many examples of the types of things you can say during those difficult, awkward conversations. The dialogues we provide are written in loving, supportive language. You can use them to make sure that your son knows how you feel while talking to him in a way that can make your relationship stronger. There are a variety of these example dialogues for many different situations, including:
– What to say if you think he might be gay
– What to say when he comes out to you
– What to say if he finds a partner
– How to talk to him about your confusion
– What not to say if you want to keep your relationship intact
– What to say to other family members
Learn some practical steps to accept your son
The final section of the book gives you lots of clear, practical steps that you can take in order to learn to accept your son for who he is. Once you understand what it means to be gay, you can start the work of building a new and stronger relationship with your son. We give you guidelines to overcome your discomfort and resources that you can rely on during your journey.
Highly trained authors who are experts in the field
We have personal experience as we both walked a long path with our parents once we came out. We also work in fields relevant to LGBT issues and family research.
Grant Andrews is currently completing his PhD at the University of the Western Cape, with a focus on fatherhood and masculinities. He is a researcher and lecturer. His professional focus is on leadership development and capacity building.
Malan van der Walt is a student program coordinator at the University of Stellenbosch, working with young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. He studies psychology with a focus on gender and sexuality. He works as a counselor and runs support groups.
Get this book today and start a journey of acceptance with your son
We wrote this book to make sure that families have all of the resources they need to work through this difficult time. This book will give you vital tools to strengthen your bond with your gay son.